Based on my kid’s personalities, this is how I’d imagine their letters to Santa would go.
Did you know that when I grow up and get big I can leave the house on my own? My mom said I can drive? Can you bring me a car? Can Buska come in the car with me? We want to go on a borondo to get cookies. The coffee shop has cookies. My mom takes me there. I want a princess castle. It’s in the magazine. I showed my mom. And I want ALL the toys in the magazine. FOR CHRISTMAS. And bring something for my sisters? I think they want a fire truck. And bring me wings like a butterfly so I can fly. PJ Mask is lost and I can fly like a butterfly and find her!
I can assure you that I’ve been a very good girl this year. I have provided a rank-ordered list of my demands. If for some reason you cannot fulfill this list, please contact me so we can discuss substitutions or suitable arrangements.
I’ve seen photos of you. I’ve seen you on TV. You are terrifying. The only thing I want for the holiday season is for you stay far away from me and my family.
Have a happy holiday,
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